Seeing the whose hands are dotted with scars, we are perplexed: how can you apply a injury to yourself? Psychoanalysts are sure: the reason for this is a violated relationship with your own body. How to “fix” them? We publish a fragment from a lecture by psychologist Anastasia Dolganova, who talks about a psychoanalytic view of this issue.
How can you use your body? What can it do? Walk, eat, drink, play sports or sex, speak, sit. And this is normal, healthy functionality. But those who are prone to self-overlap or other types of disturbed relations with the body (hypochondria, dysmorphophobia, food disorders) use the body differently.
In childhood, many of us wrapped in a cold wet sheet and ran out of ice cream, to finally get sick and relax from hated chemistry. We ourselves “created” the disease for ourselves, but in most cases we stopped doing this as they grow. To treat your body in such a strange way in adulthood, we need to feel that it “lives” separately from us. Psychoanalysts call this phenomenon a clearance of the body or dissociation.
It’s not with me?
Remember how our older sisters and brothers “joked” in childhood – they took our hand and forced us to beat it with it, saying: “Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you doing it?»Rides is when we do something similar with our body, perceiving what is happening as a kind of dialogue, as a kind of relationship.
When “I am not my body, but I am separately, and separately the body”, we have the opportunity to express various feelings towards it. The body clearance is a rather serious violation, for which it is necessary what is called “double injury”. Double trauma is when “sang” both mom and dad.
Who am I in your eyes, mom?
Maternal injury is an early injury that the mother causes the child at a time when she is as important for him. First of all, we are talking about deprivation, about the deprivation of the child something that is critical for him. Mother is either physically absent, or she is unable to perform some emotional functions that she must perform in relation to her child.
Psychoanalysts believe that the main task of the mother of a small child is to be a kind of “mirror” for him. When a child is born – he does not know who he is, what he feels, what the world is and what https://nordichardware.se/wp-content/pgs/telemedicin__framtiden_f_r_ed_behandling.html is happening to him. You saw how they talk to mothers with their children? They say: “Here is an uncle”, “here you are looking”, “here you are hungry”, “here your stomach hurts”, “here you are laughing”, “Ay, how you smile!”,” But your fingers “,” And show me your ears!”That is, mothers, as it were, reflect the child himself.
Mothers introduce children to what they are. Even at 35, we can come to mom and say: “Mom, what do you think about it?”And this is completely natural if there is a healthy relationship between us. We ask: “How do you need my haircut?”,” How do you like my lecture?”,” How do you like my choice?”,” What do you think I’m funny?”,” It seems to you whether it is possible to love me?” – this is all about the mirror, about” reflect me myself “.
If the mother fully takes on this function, when the child is very small, then everything is fine. But it happens that she spends little time with him, is not emotionally turned on, suffers from depression or does not get along with a partner. Then she lacks the strength to sufficiently be a “mirror”. And then the danger is great that the child will form the so -called diffuse, or blurry identity.